17. Hallelujah - (Jeff Buckley)

"Remember when I moved in you? / And the holy dove was moving too / And every breath we drew was Hallelujah"

True story: Christians aren't really supposed to say the word "Hallelujah" during the 40 days of Lent. Needless to say, I've been looking forward to writing this particular entry for quite some time. After all, Jeff Buckley's version of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah" is arguably one of the greatest cover songs in the history of pop music.

And as an added bonus? It's all about sex.


Do you know how hard it is to find a family-friendly image when Googling the word "sex?"

But wait a minute here -- the song's called "Hallelujah," no? So isn't it all about -- oh I dunno -- biblical stuff? Well yeah. Kinda. Except for the fact that there's a whole lotta' sex in the Bible too, ya' know.

Exibit A:

"You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you"

Biblical reference? Bathsheba (the onetime wife of Uriah) who was bathing on a roof one day and caught the eye of a young King David. And since David was the king (and kings can pretty much do whatever they darned well please), he decided to have Uriah killed so as to steal the beautiful lady for his own.


You stay classy, King David.

Crazy the lengths even a religious man will go to for some sweet, sweet biblical lovin', eh? Sometimes, it gets even kinkier. Take for example, Exhibit B:

"She tied you to her kitchen chair
She broke your throne and she cut your hair"

Yowzers. That'd be the age-old story of Samson and Delilah: he of superhuman strength, and she of hair-cutting infamy. Turns out The Big Man Upstairs wasn't quite down with their whole freaky-naughty S&M nonsense. And giving it up to a biblical temptress (wink) ended up costing Samson a lot more than his luscious and flowing locks.

"Guys you know you'd better watch out /
Some girls, some girls are only about..."

So once again, we see faith and sex getting awful friendly with one another, no? But let's get back to the Jeff Buckley source material. Exhibit C:

"But remember when I moved in you
And the holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was hallelujah"

Whoah there, pal -- "remember when I moved in you?" Now we're just being filthy. Clearly, the religious imagery is giving way to something a heckuvalot more (ahem) "primal," if you will -- and sex has now moved to the forefront of our balladeer's mind. In other words: Jeff Buckley's hallelujah is actually quite suggestive, when it comes right down to it.

Kinda' reminds me of...


Saint Theresa of Avila (1515-1582): Poster Girl of the "Divine 'O' Face"

Like most holy rollers, Saint Theresa (bless her heart) kinda' had a thing for Jesus. But she didn't just have "a thing" for Jesus -- I mean she had a THING for Jesus. Her particular brand of spirituality was such that she actually found herself "slain in the spirit" with visions of the Savior that bordered on the ecstatic (read: "orgasmic," though she wouldn't quite put it so bluntly).

In her own words, here's Saint Theresa of Avila's cold and broken hallelujah:

"I saw in his hand a long spear of gold, and at the iron's point there seemed to be a little fire. He appeared to me to be thrusting it at times into my heart, and to pierce my very entrails; when he drew it out, he seemed to draw them out also, and to leave me all on fire with a great love of God. The pain was so great, that it made me moan; and yet so surpassing was the sweetness of this excessive pain, that I could not wish to be rid of it..."

Hey wait a second -- spears? Thrusting? Piercing? Moaning? (not to mention "sweetness" and "love"). Why if I didn't know better, I'd say that sounds a lot like a biblical bow-chicka-wow-wow. So for as sensual as Jeff Buckley's rendition of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah" might well indeed be, it turns out he's hardly the first to compare sex to spirituality. In fact, this whole "carnal knowlege meets faith" tradition actually dates waaaaaay back into the 16th century. And that includes such luminaries as our beloved St. Theresa of Avila, and this guy:

John Donne (1572-1631): Jacobean jiggolo (Well ok, not really).
To put it bluntly: John Donne spent a good chunk of his life breakin' young girls hearts and getting all sorts of action (proof once again that chicks totally dig poetry). But about halfway through his sex-fueled youth, the guy found Jeebus and decided to make the jump to full-on religiousity (yeah, I can make up words, too).

And since the best frame of reference the guy had was a lifetime of skirt chasing? His "holy sonnets" actually ended up sounding a heckuvalot like good old-fashioned sex stories (kinda' like Jeff Buckley, as a matter of fact).

Here's his most famous work (for your viewing pleasure, I've bolded the pertinent-and-sexy part):

Batter My HeartBatter my heart, three-person'd God, for you
As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend;
That I may rise and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend
Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurp'd town to'another due,
Labor to'admit you, but oh, to no end;
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captiv'd, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly'I love you, and would be lov'd fain,
But am betroth'd unto your enemy;
Divorce me,'untie or break that knot again,
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you'enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me

Holy seduction, Batman!
Hallelujah indeed.